|You Are 50% Weird|
Nest Feathers and Twine - Formally Artist's Block Studio
Years ago I started this blog with a mindset and goals that I have found have changed direction over time. I am excited to say that this blog has a new name.....Nest Feathers and Twine. I hope you come by and visit often. Feel free to get comfortable and kick off your shoes and join me on this journey of metamorphosis.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
Stay safe and warm.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
speaking of sparkly things.....rudolph's shiney new year is coming on t.v......i will never out grow those old christmas shows!
an ornie i made from the left overs of my christmas card/ornament making frenzie.......whew am i glad that is over with.....next year i will have them made by halloween..............i hope......would like......but it won't happen, next year i will be saying the same thing.........
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Thanks D. for the inside scoop on how to make these pins! This year my youngest wanted to give, give, give to a large list of teachers (15 to be exact!) I could not say no, but I was stuck, with that many gifts to make I needed something quick. Usually I hand paint an ornament for his teachers, but this year I wanted to do a little something different, and these worked out great. I felt the need to booger them up and add stitching to the petals and leaves, but I soon found that I loved their simplicity and plain-ness.
My Christmas card ornaments. I had such a hard time trying to decide just what I wanted to do for Christmas cards this year.....I almost gave in and just bought cards. I had a million ideas, but they were so detailed. Since I mail at least 60 of these puppies out each year, simplify became key. I had a friend over twice so that we could make our cards....both of us stuck not being able to come up with anything finally caved in a just made art instead both playdays. So here I sit, typing and cutting and assembling at the last minute........it is a good thing I work best under pressure!
Monday, December 12, 2005
Thursday, December 08, 2005
when i stepped outside with my youngest to wait for the school bus it was amazing......it was like someone had hit the mute button........birds flew overhead, in total silence, cars drove past, in total silence, my son opened his mouth....still total silence.....he was catching snowflakes on his tongue.
it was so cold out....yet my problems melted away as if it were a hot summer day.
the snowflakes fell so quickly, and every now and then danced in the air, their change in movement caused by an unseen force, yet everything was so still.
everything was so quiet, as i stood in the middle of the driveway watching my youngest walk to the bus stop, head up, mouth open tongue sticking out as far as he could get it, catching as many snowflakes as he could, i was becoming covered by these beautiful pure white microscopic pieces of art sent down from heaven.....and as they landed on me they seemed to whisper hushshshshshshshshshshshsh.
Monday, November 28, 2005
My Halloween ATC. The background was done with Pearl-ex and hairspray. The tree is cardstock that was walnut inked, crinkled, ironed and then cut with Sizzix. The bat was folded so that when the tree was opened it became a 3d pop-up element.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
wednesday i do some last minute shopping for thanksgiving, children 1 and 3 are feeling the crud coming on, child number 2 is still convinced that he is the only one in the world that is dying from this strain of the crud, i feel his head for time number 16, 542, and again announce like it is the first time that yes, sweety, you still have a slight fever, no i do not think it is lethal. i ran to our local grocery store, the cheap one, and they are out of several things i still need, so we take home our first load of stuff, pick up the hubby, and go out to the really expensive grocery store, and they have what i need, or at least what i remember i need because i left the shopping list at home. geez. we go out to eat, because......oh just because i don't wanna cook, no good reason to justify the expense. while we are eating i remember the one thing i forgot.......a turkey roasting bag. on the way home we stop at the medium priced grocery store. hubby, who is tired from not getting enough sleep and about up to here with family togetherness for the moment says he will wait in the car. child number 3 says he will wait with dad, since all i need is my one thing. child number 1 who is suffering from teen-age-itis, and stuffeth thy self to mucheth at the buffeteth is being crabby and says nothing, child number 2, gathers all of his strength (because he is still convinced he is dying from the crud) and says he will come in with me. at the last minute children 1 and 3 decide to assist me and child 2 in our search for the turkey roasting bags. i always shop at the cheap grocery store, every once in awhile the expensive one, and never the middle priced one, so i don't know my way around the middle priced one. i am not sure what isle to look in, but i am determined i will find it. all i can think about is how much i need to get done before bed so that we can eat fairly early in the afternoon.
child number 2: mom shouldn't we just ask someone where they are
me: no just give me a minute, i will find them
no. 2: let's just ask some......mom he poked me
no. 3: did not
no.2: did to,
no. 1: just stop it
no. 2: feel my head now mom
no. 1: i don't feel good
no. 3: mom he poked me
no. 2: did not, and you poked me first.......mom, feel my head now
no. 1: oh i think i need to go to the bathroom, my stomach hurts
no. 2: my stomach hurts too
no. 3: thats because you guys are big pigs and ate too much
no.1: i am going to the bathroom
no. 2: mommmmmmmmm he said i am a pig, feel my head now
( i am thankful for the kids, i really, really am...............where is a roll of duct tape when you need it, better yet, wish they had mute buttons, but they are good kids, and i am lucky, and i am thankful)
no.2: mom lets just ask someone
me: nope they are right here
no. 3: can we buy this
me: no, don't need it
no. 3: but you didn't look
me: saw it with the eyes in the back of my head, put it down, don't need it.....
just then a women with 4 kids is walking down the isle and all of the sudden stops and looks down and comments on what made her slip.......my brain files that away somewhere in the back, when it should have been stamped urgent......pay attention to this event..........next thing i know i am hitting my head on a shelf and on the floor in the splits, there are no words to describe what that felt like! the first thing i think is oh puhlease let my hearing aid be ok, i hit it on the shelf.........then everything comes into focus, the kids are trying to untangle my body, and some guy walks by, looks concerned.....but not concerned enought to get involved, no time for that...........oh no, gotta go, busy, busy...... jerk! heaven forbid he takes 2 seconds to help, or get someone............and lady where ever you are in the store why did you not let anyone know there was a puddle on the floor so it could have been cleaned up! i have never ever really truly hurt that bad from falling. all i want to do it go home, pee, put my 'round the house comfy sweats on, take my bra off..........oh geez do i hurt, i think i dislocated my left ovary..........don't breath, that hurts the ribs........get out to the car, the kids beat me to it to tell their snoozing daddy what happened......he jumps out of the car and helps me in, and spends the whole ride home apologizing and saying if only he would have gone in with me maybe it would not have happened..........i spend the ride home convincing him maybe if he had come in it would have happened to him......or who knows. i am convinced that all things happen for a reason, so, the kids and hubby put me to bed, my only choice is get checked out at the hospital, or bed.
so, the next day we get up early and make dinner, i told my hubby that it is like a wedding, you spend all of this time planning it, making it, and then in 5 minutes it is over.........my body hurts sooooo bad, hubby asked for the eleventyith time if we should go to the hospital. i suck it up and say i'll be fine.
the next day avoiding the crazy peoples out shopping we clean the back part of our basement and pull out ho ho decorations. child number 3 is really sick, running a high fever, as usual, he always gets really really sick when he gets sick. saturday my hubby brings home an ad from the newspaper, male chihuahua, tan and white, 6 weeks old........well that answered the question for me.....we have been considering buying a friend for our female 9 month old chihuahua (cheeeeee-wah-wah as we refer to her, you have to hear it to appreciate it!) our requirements are a male, tan and white, preferably long hair.......well, i had been thinking maybe we will not do this.........so when the hubby came home with the add describing our requirements to a T, well, i had to take it as i sign. so yesterday we drove and drove to pick up this puppy. we came home, hubby ran out to buy a christmas present for our daughter, the sale was ending in a couple of hours, then he was gonna pick up some dinner on the way home.........he took a way to the store where there is ALOT of construction, he got a hole in the tire, but did not know it until he was leaving the store. he went back in the store and bought some sort of pump thingy, it was too late to go to the tire place where the warrenty is for road hazzard, so he gimped the car home, stopping to refill up the tire every few miles. so then we are stuck...... i ask him how are you going to get to work for overtime tonight, he says the blazer s-10 pos, i say what if it does not make it, this man full of never ending faith even though he would not admit it says to me it will make it to work and back, then tomorrow we get the tire fixed on the other. he goes to work, the kids and i order amityville horror on pay-per-view, get the bajeezers scared out of us, pass the puppy around, then as always, scary movies need a happy show chaser, so the boys and i watch the 3 stooges.......pass the puppy some more, the daughter stomps off disgusted because she does not see the humor in the stooges and watches her own brain cell destroying show in her room. we all pooped out about 3 in the morning, and the puppy......whose name is melvyn by the way, wakes me up at 7 this morning, and at 7:30 i give up and go pick him up and rock him for an hour while he whimpers and whines, and think back to when i held each of my three beautiful babies years ago in the wee hours of the morning with little sleep and rocked them.....i thought about how quickly it has gone...........i look in on them sleeping so peacefully, so sweetly, ohhhhhhhh so quietly, and know that soon the house will be filled the noise and activity.....the hubby comes home from working overtime, he ran out of gas in the blazer s-10 pos just as he pulled into the driveway......no worries though as we have gas in our 5 gallon jug for mowing, he will fill up the blazer s-10 pos from that, run the tire down to the shop, get a new one, put it on then take the car down to get 2 new tires for the back and a spare......after a little sleep! all is well, just breathe.......just breathe........
Thursday, November 17, 2005
As I sit here thinking about how icky I feel, coughing, sneezing, my head feels like an over inflated balloon, watery eyes, fluid filled ears, a nose like a drippy faucet in need of repair, the weight of an elephant on my chest, and my body feels like I have been hit by a train, a bus, an 18 wheeler, a moped, and a little old man on a bicycle...........I hurt. BUT I can not help but think how lucky I am. AT LEAST this is not next Thursday, on THANKSGIVING, AT LEAST what I have is not terminal, AT LEAST I woke up this morning to my home, my family, the things I love still around me just as I left them before I crawled into bed last night and pulled the covers up around me to ward off that horrid beast, the chills.
Now this has me thinking about all of the things I am THANKFUL for:
- my family
- being given a second and third chance at life
- my home, and everything it holds
- the gift of art
- friends and art sisters
- the warmth of our home
- food on our table
- few bucks in the bank
- a paycheck that has been extra fluffy with lots of overtime pay
- 2 running vehicles
- and every other little thing that I take for granted each and every day
- all of the things I have not yet thought of , but I still know I am thankful for, and when I do think of them I will feel like a jerk for forgetting to mention!
- the strength and courage I asked for and have been given to make some big changes in my life
So, what are you thankful for? If you listed them and thought about them, would they make you see things in a different light when say, your having a not so good day?
So, Becky, Angelica, Sharon and Denise what if I said tag.....your it? What are you thankful for.........
And hey, you there, reading my blog......tag your it, too!
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
I hope this group takes off and soars like a bird on a breezy spring afternoon, but I also know this thing could sink like a dead man wearing cement boots at the bottom of a river!!!!!!
I created this group because of my new found need, want, and desire to get out there and be a part of life! I spent my whole life up until this last year or so locked in a prison of sorts, the bars of that prison were partially constructed of fear, which is a pretty tought material for holding a person back! With the fear gone the bars can not hold me like they use to!
I have had a million ideas of things I would like to do, and have been looking for a group or groups that also had similiar ideas. I have recently joined a few new groups and it has been wonderful to get to know, and I look forward to getting to know better, some really wonderful people and artists! While these groups all share my interests, and I share theirs, there were still some interests, wants, cravings, needs, desires, that I could not find a group for......so I created my own in the hopes that their were others out there like me.
I would love to do a charm round robin and swap. The charms would be for necklace or bracelet. Each participant would start off by sending either a link braclet or necklace and a journal explaining the theme for the necklace or bracelet and color choices, and at least one charm they have made. As the journal and bracelet/necklace makes it way throught the round robin participants add at least 2 charms and beads ( bead: beed n. anything with a hole in it goes!) and journal what was done. At the end of the round robin you have an artsy piece of jewelry! The charm swap would be like an ATC type swap, where you would make a number of charms, and they would be swapped out, or better yet a ATC/charm swap to make an ATC with the same theme as the charm? The charms can be made of anything, as long as it can safely be worn as a piece of jewelery, and it can withstand being worn (ex. waterproof..... so that you could wash your hands, or not have to worry about getting caught in the rain......etc)
I have also become addicted to ATC's, 4x4's, 5x7's, art journals, altered books.......I belong to several groups that trade and round robin these wonderful pieces of art, and I treasure each and everyone of them! The main requirement for these is that they should be mainly original, very little photo copied work in the piece. If I wanted a book full of photo copied art I could whip out my latest Somerset studio, Expressions....etc and a pair of scissors! This does not mean that I do not love, treasure, and appreciate the pieces I have received in swaps in the past that are copied.......I just want and have the need for real honest to goodness texture!
I am wanting to do this in addition to the other groups I participate in and with, not to replace. I cherish the friendships and artistic relationships I have made greatly so far and hope to continue them for a long time and a day, and I am also hoping to expand this group wonderful people!
I have also wanted to do a colors journal swap, ATC swap, etc....like the one for the Somerset book, True Colors............Art doll round robin, the list goes on and on...... I have a million ideas of my own, but I would also like this group to be open to suggestion, because there are alot of talented people out there with a ton of wonderful ideas! An altered, collaged mask swap or round robin...........hmmmmmm.
I would love to see artists of any and all media, fabric, polymer, paper, jewelry and bead making, etc. I think the more diverse the group, the more interesting the artwork tends to be!
I do not plan to start any round robins or swaps until after the new year.......this is way too busy of a time for all of us, because if you are artsy then you are probably up to your armpits in gift making like I am!
So, speaking of being up to my armpits in stuff to make, I am actually going to be drowning and up to my eyebrows if I do not get away from this computer and get working. My studio looks like what Santa's workshop would look like if a tornado ripped through it during the height of toy making season, minus the bruised and battered elves, of course!
Hope to see y'all on the Yahoo group, I have to approve membership, but that is to keep the creepy stalker peoples out!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
This was such a fun day, last year on his birthday he and his daddy went out while I was with my family making funeral plans for my dad.
I also started a second Yahoo group today! My first one is a small private one, this one will be open for any and all to join I am really excited about this and am hoping it is a success. I will give info on it tomorrow, right now my fingers and brain are not connected and I have spent more time hitting the backspace key to correct my boo-boos than what I have spent actually typing words and sentences that make sense!
night, night, sleep tizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
SO.......HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TO YOU..........
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TO YOU...........
LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER, BUNCHES AND BUNCHES, MWAH,
Sunday, November 13, 2005
one thing i have learned out of this - is it does not matter what your plans are, how much stuff you have to do when it is your time to go, you go.
for all of you out there that come visit me make sure you:
- tell everyone you love them, often, just because
- live your life today like you will have no tomorrow, because you never know
- do what makes you happy.....as long as it is moral and legal and you are not hurting anyone.........who cares what other people think, it is your life not theirs
- don't waste your time being angry and upset over things you can't change or have not control over, or the little things......
- remember there is always someone out there that has it much worse than you do, so appreciate even the little things you take for granted
- stop and smell the roses, ahhhh over a sunset, make a wish on a shooting star
- "be nice to mean people, they need it the most" ( can't remember who said this) you never know what is going on in the persons life........give 'em a break
- use your good china everyday, wear that expensive stuff that makes you smell good
- enjoy the simple things
- i could go on and on and on and on.............i guess what i am trying to say is make the most of your life, live it to the fullest
Friday, November 11, 2005
7 Things I can not do:
- say no to a friend
- go a week without adding to my art supplies
- crochet anything but a long, long, long chain
- understand directions, i need lots of pictures, i'm a visual person
- go much more than an hour without having to pee, i sometimes think my bladder must be the size of a dime, for real!
- understand all of the words in a sentence even with my hearing aids in if the room is not quiet. i wish people came with closed captioning!
- share my drink with ANYONE, I hate FLOATIES!!!!!! floaties are very bad and make me really really sick to my stomach..........
7 Things I say most often:
- love you, bunches and bunches, always and forever
- be careful
- ewwww, ouch, that'll leave a mark
- stop aggravating each other.......................NOW!!!!
- that's gross ( there are 3 guys in the family, need i say more)
- are you asleep yet (gotta keep my hubby on his toes)
- you know what i mean, did that/i make sense
7 Things I find attractive in/about men:
- Long hair, not real long, medium long
- sense of humor
- a soul full of intense passion about whatever his thing is
- good hearted
- just enough grey hair to make him distiguished
7 Celeb crushes:
- celebs really aren't my thing....I would have an instant super crush on any celeb that would take a percentage of his millions per movie/performance and donate it to his home town, state, country to help those that need it most, the homeless, abused, those that have to choose between food or their meds, the list goes on...........
- jackie chan - he is cute and handsome, funny, smart, i luv to hear him talk.........he has a real passion for what he does....
- usher - he can move on the dance floor.....nice abs
- will smith - he just seems like a really nice guy
- john travolta - nice guy too
- jimmy smits i always liked..........not sure why, i am seeing a pattern, i think i must be attracted to dark haired men?
7 Things before I die:
- become totally healthy, again. i know this sounds funny, but i am dead serious........which i guess if i want to be healthy before i die i guess that leaves car accident, unfortunate accident, or murder........yuck, that just creeped me out
- see my children grow up and have families of their own
- own my own art business, teach and pass on the gift of art. open that business a couple of times a month for play dates for the abused, ill, self esteem impaired, sensory impaired,.......... to come and make art.
- get published many, many, many times
- earn at least enough money from selling my art to pay for my bad habits: buying more stuff than what i need or can use in this life time at art supply stores, antiquing, garage sale-ing, estate sale-ing,........
- get my hubby to let me organize and clean out his garage.......and have him teach me how to work all of those power tools so i can do stuff all by myself
- make sure i have let everyone who has touched my life know how much i appreciate, love, like a bunch...............etc......them.
Thank you Angelica and Becky for inviting me to play.........made me smile!
Becky, did I do good? No blonde jokes!
Okay, my circle of friends with blogs is small, and all I know have been tagged, but those of you you come to visit me that I don't know.......tag your it!!!!!!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
- oh jeez, i think i have another cat hair in my eyeball
- oooooohh i got it out on the second try
- i am soooo tired of getting cat hairs in my eyeball, i wonder.......can you vacuum a cat..........and live to tell about it
- ohhhhh more hot water
- ok, can't vacuum the cat.........nair........my dear daughter had some nair....eww i think i threw it away the last time i cleaned out the cabinet.....no i think it is there.......how much nair would it take to nair a cat .......if cat could be naired........hmmmmm
- my legs were cold all day yesterday....shouldn't shaved......i think all that wooly worm hair was actually keeping my legs warm
- i got to email bunches of people......don't forget to email today
- glad i went to art alliance and collage group meetings yesterday......it was wonderful............everyone was sooooo nice......no one pointed and did the body snatcher scream thing...........see i told ya it would be ok........can't wait to go again
- gotta remember to bring goody bags to everyone at next weeks atc meet up at redlead.......you would forget your head if it wasn't attached......actually you would be dead if your head wasn't attached......then you would not have to worry about forgetting stuff........what was it that i was trying to remember
- i need to repaint my toenails.........but it is cold and i am not going to be wearing sandals in public for awhile so no one will know i have grass green toenail polish peeling.......but i will know...........what color should i do........something really weird.....add weird colored polish to the wally world list
- ok, can't vacuum or nair the cat, my dad gave me the cat 2 months before he died, he will come back and haunt me........leave the cat alone......deal with furry eyeballs like a big girl
- ohhhh, add face scrubby stuff to the list
- those birdies i got a redlead last night are soooo cute painted up and sparklied up......paint da birdies today.......ohhh gotta cut the branches off the trees today for my studio........and the two dead wittle bittie trees.....
- where did that goofy baby talk voice come from........oh that stupid cartoon that was on tv this morning
- ohhh add shampoo to the list
- why can't we run out of shampoo and conditioner at the same time
- ok, you need to get out of the shower
- you know i think i have been to wally world 4 times already this week......i hate that place........but they are cheap
- you really need to get out of the shower......now
- more hot water.....hmmm what does this setting on the massaging shower head do........ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
- ohhhhhh add cat food to the list.......
- have to by some kind of meat so i can have the meat tray so i can do the thing that i saw demo'd at the art alliance meeting yesterday.........
- be a big girl.....step away from the massaging shower head and get out of the shower nnnnnnnnooooooooowwwwwww
- i don't wanna
- ya gotta
- don't wanna don't wanna don't wanna
- now now now
- it's gonna be cold out there
- boy my inner adult is a pain in the butt........ok i am getting out already
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
- gotta find time somewhere to CREATE.......must create art.......ugh
- i wish my teen-age daughter wore signs to warn me what her current mood was, boy is it scary when i guess wrong and her head spins and she spews green stuff!
- remember, my daughter will be human again, like yesterday in the kitchen talking about how gross the pictures were in health class of people with STD's, and giggling and being totaly immature, both of us!
- the squooshed was-a-bunny on the page ext yesterday, totally flat, except 1 ear standing up flapping in the wind. funny, but gross and sad.
- what am i going to do for an atc for wednesday night
- omg! i need to think of an idea for my autumn beauty atc
- need to come up with an idea for the xmas/holiday cards i am making this year. must be short sweet and simple this year
- was that the phone ringing, or just my ears
- i really should shave my legs........oh forget it, the hair will be there tomorrow
- i really want to go to the collage club meeting, i don't wanna go by myself, but i wanna go, but what if they all turn and stare at me like who are you and what are you doing here, then they all point and make that scream like in the body snatchers movie
- i am really proud of myself for not eating the halloween candy
- i need to start walking again, no excuses about no time, just do it!
- maybe i should shave my legs.........i am starting to look like a wooly worm, oh i don't wanna bend over.......tomorrow, that will be on my to do list for tomorrow
- where is my to do list anyway.........i need to start keeping it in my planner again.....what good is a planner if you are writing in everything but it
- should i have sent that email to the person i sent it to saying the things i did....will she think i'm a nut.......oh, stop it, stop worrying
- i have not made any jewelry for awhile, i feel the need to bead......
- before i can create i need to clean my studio...........again
- i really should shave my legs..................tomorrow........
- boy do men have it easy............we women shampoo, condition, exfoliate, shave,moisturize, exercise, hair, make up, pms, give birth.........they eat, sleep, shave, shower......and do gross things from all body orfices, still couldn't pay me enought to be a guy though
- this hot shower feels good, but gotta get out, gotta get everybody up and going for school.......remember, put moisturizer on so you are not itchy from taking a hot shower
- does everybody else do this in the shower........maybe.......or am i a nut with a.d.d. to the 10th power.....
- how can 1 person think so many things all at once...........
- oh i luv my new massaging shower head..........
- hey......you did not spend the whole time in the shower beating yourself up over stupid stuff.........way to go.....i am getting better at this stuff........still should have shaved my legs though...............tomorrow
Monday, November 07, 2005
We just start to recover the best you can after this, my hubby had also just 2 weeks prior had to attend the funeral of a long time friend, we were getting ready for a final- aint- ever- gonna- have- another- one- for- the- rest- of- my- life- garage sale. I did not go to bed until 4:30 am, we were going to set up the garage sale first thing and then take down the outside decorations in between moments of chaos during the garage sale. About 6:00 am the phone rings, it is my sister, in tears, she had just hung up the phone from my mom......my dad woke her up making a strange noise.......he was trying to silence his scream...he was holding his chest. My mom thought it was a heart attack. I strained to hear the words, I hardly could hear though, someone was crying, and then I realized it was me. For months I had been telling my hubby that my dad was going to die, and soon. His light was fading. I can not see everybody's light.......and yes this is the point where some of you will decide I am a nut, oh well......so anyway some people have a light I can see, an aura of sorts. But I can't see it with my eyes, hard to explain. I kept telling my hubby, for months that my dad's light was fading and that we were not going to have him much longer, but I thought we would have him longer that what we did. My sister and I got to the hospital, my mom a mess, I think deep down in place where she did not have to acknowledge it, she knew my dad was dying, she seemed to already to be mourning. They had to intubate my dad, and sedate him, he was not getting enough oxygen to his brain. His ears were purple, his neck was swollen, he kept trying to tell us something. I knew it was time to say goodbye. They did a ct scan, he had a Triple A, an aneurysm of the aorta, only his was not the balloon kind, it was the tearing kind. It was one of the worst they had ever seen....it, the aorta, tore from the base of his heart down into each of this thighs. Every time his heart beat blood was lost from the circulatory system, every time his heart beat he was floating closer to death. The surgeon came in to explain the procedure, a formality really, just to say they did everything they could, even though he would not say it. As soon as they began he bled out. My daddy was gone. I wanted to run through the halls of the hospital screaming bloody murder, I wanted to hit walls, kick doors, break glass and smack the crap out of this group of sisters who were sharing a quiet room with us, who were praising God up one side and down the other because their daddy had survived something he should not have. MY daddy was gone and that just wasn't suppose to happen to us damn it! I began to bargain with God that I would do anything just give him back to us. Looking out of the windows, trying to maintain my composure for mom's sake, why is everyone out there beyond the windows and the walls of this smelly, cold, sterile bad place still living their lives. Why hasn't anyone stopped for crying out loud...... MY DADDY JUST DIED!!!! He was only 59. His honery mother lived in a teeny house smoking 4 packs of cigarettes a day, with no ventilation, so she was also breathing in second hand smoke, always pissed at the world about something, and she lived 20 years longer. Why did he have to go? Why now? We were just talking about Thanksgiving. I have never felt so small, so helpless, and have never felt a pain that was so deep, so bad that it cut through the very core of my body and right through my soul. Every person I had lost up to this point was old old, I knew in my heart they were home, and in a much better place, they were at peace, I was at peace with their death. As I was standing in front of the casket that held the empty shell of a body that my daddy's soul once occupied I find myself questioning my beliefs, my faith in the 'system' I guess. Is there really a Heaven, is there a soul, does it really go on........will I see him again when my time is up. I am trying to prepare myself for all of the small talk the evening has in store, all the kind words, the relatives you only see at weddings and funerals, only this time it is me on the other side, how do you do this 'job', I don't want to, and if anyone says 'he looks good' I'm gonna scream, because he looks dead not good! He looks like an abandoned vehicle on the side of the road, the driver long gone. My dad was always a very superstitious person, he would literally drive a million miles out of his way if a black cat crossed his path, my dad died on the 13th of November. The 13th was a bad number for the superstitious. It was also 2 days before my oldest son's birthday, the child who is totally freaked out about death, funerals. Is he going to think about this for the rest of his life? I did not get to spend his birthday with him, I was talking the formalities of the customs we have when it comes to recognizing a death with my mom, sister, and a funeral director, not celebrating life with my son and the rest of our family.
The next day, my hubby's uncle passed away.
So, we could not even find half of the Halloween decorations from last year, but that is ok, we weren't really in the mood to see them, not this year, maybe next year if we find them.
Today I found myself wondering what my dad was thinking about a year ago today, what he did after work. What he dreamt about. What would he have done differently if he knew. It seems as though he has been gone so long that it is almost like I dreamed his existance, was he ever really here? Why can't I feel him? I miss his big squishy hugs, the way he smelled, the way after we said 'I love you, good bye' he would quietly one more time say 'love you'. When he held your hand he would always sneak in a sqeeze or two, just to remind you he loved ya. He was not all sugar and spice, but there were reasons for that, and as long as you understood why, then you could not help but love him.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
- Finally getting that cat hair outta my eyeball after two days of sticking my finger in my eyeball trying to find it!
- Finally getting rid of that ' I have been sticking my finger in my eyeball for the last two days' sensation that has been driving me nuts.
- getting to sleep in for the first time in eons, I got to sleep until 9:30(!) but it was actually 10:30 because of the time change, but it was REALLY 9:30 you know?!
- if ya gotta have pms.....well isn't this just the best month to have it in! it is amazing how soothing biting the head off a chocolate witch can be!
- knowing that in 12 hours from now my babies will be at school, the hubby will be sleeping, and I will be playing in my studio.........the radio blaring, the birds squawking along with whatever song is playing......ahhhhh peace and quiet! gotta luv it! ( speaking of sleeping hubby.....gotta wake him up to get ready for work!)
- crawling into bed after the hubby has left for work, and it is already warmed up, and then opening the window for a blast of cold air....... hormones gotta luv them, too........ ?
What an absolute blast! I use to 'teach' at the insurance company I worked for (in addition to other duties......I was one of those people working her way up the ladder so I always had to do the upper rungs work and got the pay and recognition of the lower rung. !) ok....ok....so back to what I was saying, insurance is a REALLY boring thang girlfriend and I use to have a blast finding fun ways to teach it. In the beginning it was selfishly for me, to keep me from losing what little sanity I had....then I found the more enjoyable the class was the more people retained, and the more people retained the better job they did, and the better job they did the more the big boss recognized it.......boy did I make my boss look good. She had the purtiest brown nose you ever saw! Funny thing is, she lost her magic creative abilities, after I quit 12 years ago, this month actually, she fell apart to their dismay and was no longer a member of the ________ insurance family! ha KARMA! gotta love it sometimes........oh sorry off subject again! Anyway.... I love teaching! LOVE IT! It is my dream someday to have my own store and to open it a Sunday or two a month for disabled, abused, or self esteem impaired people to come in and create. Art is such a theraputic release........for hurt, sadness, anger, frustration as much as it is a perfect way to celebrate life, emotion, occasions. I have said this before and I feel it is the truth:
- ART IS WHAT IT IS BECAUSE YOU MADE IT THAT WAY. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO DO IT (disclaimer: except if you inhale the fumes, or stick it in your mouth,ears, nose, eyes.....he he he!)
- WHATEVER YOU CREATE IS A MASTERPIECE AND IS COMPLETLY PERFECT. DON'T FEEL OR LET ANYONE TELL YOU ANY DIFFERENT.
- YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE YOUR WORK IN A GALLERY, OR SUPPORT YOURSELF FINANCIALLY TO TELL THE WORLD YOU ARE AN ARTIST.
- NOT EVERYONE WILL APPRECIATE YOUR WORK IN THE SAME WAY YOU DO, BUT THERE IS AT LEAST ONE PERSON OUT THERE WHO DOES. BUT THAT SHOULD NOT MATTER ANY WAY BECAUSE YOUR OPINION OF YOUR WORK IS ALL THAT MATTERS!
- YOU SHOULD PLAY, AND OFTEN. USE THOSE SUPPLIES UP, THAT IS WHAT YOU BOUGHT THEM FOR, ISN'T IT?
- FROM THE MINUTE WE ARE BORN WE ARE LEARNING WHILE WE PLAY AND WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IT!
- PLAY IS JUST AN ARTISTIC WAY OF SAYING LEARN!
- AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST SHAME ON THE ART TEACHER I HAD IN GRADE SCHOOL THAT TOOK MY PAPER AWAY, WADDED IT UP, AND THREW IT AWAY AND TOLD ME IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS THAT TREES ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE BROWN TRUNKS AND GREEN LEAVES AND THAT I DID IT ALL WRONG! POO-POO ON YOU LADY AND MAY YOU HAVE DEVELOPED A HEMROID THE SIZE OF A SCHOOL BUS......ONE I DREW MYSELF AND COLORED PRETTY PINK!!!!!! (UH, I DREW THE SCHOOL BUS PRETTY PINK, NOT THE HEMROID! JUST WANTED TO CLARIFY THAT)
I want to thank everyone who came to me after the demo and told me how much they learned and enjoyed it and how much fun it was. It was the best feeling in the world to hear and to hear it from so many people! My demo was suppose to be an hour long, and I exceeded that time by 35 minutes I was told, but the totally cool thing is when I looked up I saw the same people there at the end as I did in the beginning........my cheering section of friends even told me that one lady left because she had an appointment, but decided to come back, and miss her appointment because she was learning so much. How awesome is that?!
I also want to thank ( and yes when I hear the music start to play I will end my speech and exit the stage, to the left! ha ha) ok I want to thank:
- MY UNBELIEVABLY WONDERFUL, SUPPORTIVE, ENCOURAGING HUSBAND, AND MY JUST AS WONDERFUL KIDS!
- DENISE, WILL, MAUREEN M., MICHEL, AND THOSE WHO CAME JUST BECAUSE IT WAS ME DOING THE DEMO!!!!
- AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST BY ANY MEANS, CHRIS AND SHARON FOR TAKING A CHANCE AND LETTING ME DO THIS DEMO!!!
- DENISE AND WILL AGAIN BECAUSE THEY WERE SO THOUGHTFUL AS TO DOCUMENT THIS ALL ON CAMERA, AND TREAT ME TO A WONDERFUL LUNCH, I AM SO GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO JOIN US MAUREEN M, AND THE FUN TIME AFTER DINNER.
- MICHEL, FOR SEEING US STRANDED LESS THAN A MILE FROM REDLEAD 25 MINUTES BEFORE MY DEMO WITH A FLAT TIRE MY HUBBY WAS TRYING TO QUICKLY CHANGE AND GIVING ME A RIDE TO REDLEAD, AND WILL AND DENISE FOR COMING AS WELL AFTER I CALLED THEM ON THE CELL PHONE, AND TAKING MY SUPPLIES.
What an incredible memory I will have for the rest of my life, or until I lose my mind!
I will post pictures of the stuff I made in the demo, along with some how to's and a list of ingredients use to make these goodies probably Tuesday, since I remembered that silly old Halloween is Monday!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Yes, I suffer from this terrible syndrome! Premature Posting Syndrome! I have posted a couple of pieces now, only to realize at a later time that......I was quite done yet like I thought! In honor that I was inspired to make this piece, I felt it needed to be stated on the ATC itself.
Just the other day Sharon sent out a challenge of sorts to a group of us to list 5 women who inspire us, and as usual I had to break the rules and as my 5th I listed my art sisters, a group of wonderfuly talented women that exceeded the number 5, so I had to list them all! The other day, when Angelica and I were planning to get together she emailed me a pic of a piece and said she was trying to figure out a technique used. Well, when I looked over this picture I could not imagine what it was that she could not figure out, but I took a shot and thought maybe it was the 'halo' effect. So here I was inspired to create this piece to show her how this was done! Thanks for inspiring me Angelica!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
this blonde brain of mine is capable of some deep thoughts now and then..... especially when i sit outside and gaze above at all of the planets and twinkling stars hoping to catch a glimpse of a shooting one and sometimes i wonder just how far does forever go on? when i pass on will i get to find out not only this, but other mysteries i have wondered about during the time my soul has occupied this body in this lifetime?
ok, i am going to go create some art........i just looked at my blog and i have been a bit chatty lately!
We anxiously waited outside for the store to open, it was a bit chilly! Once they opened the doors and let us in and we saw all of the stuff I think we forgot we had even been cold! Within minutes I found a bargain I could not pass up! Something I had been wanting ever since I found out they first existed when reading a Mary E Home Companion a couple of years ago. I found one right after reading about them in her magazine at a little shop my hubby and I visit now and then. The shop owners had just inherited it from a relative. Later I found another one at a flea market, but it was about $100 or so, at that point I figured I would never own one, unless I won the lottery.......I have a collection of several of these, they are all metal. A couple are worth a bit of money.....nothing huge trust me, some are a dime a dozen. This one is a coveted plastic one. Fancy and ornate. It is translucent, kinda green. It reminds me almost of the green after dinner mints, you know the chalky ones that look like little pillows that come in yellow and pink and green. My grandma always had these mints in her house. It was only $30.00! When I looked at the price tag it said 'firm', so I thought, ok I looked at it wrong, it must be 130.00. Just for the heck of it I looked again and it said 30!!!!! On the way home I was in 7th heaven, I kept telling myself just let him (my honey) sleep, you can tell him when he wakes up......but that will be about another 4 hours.....I don't think I can wait that long! I couldn't. I had to wake him just long enough to show him, then I felt guilty for waking him after show-n-tell was over.
So ready to smack me and say just quit rambling and tell me what it is already? Well, probably nothing that exciting to the average person. It is a bird cage. I think it is from the 40's.
Angelica and I walked from booth to booth pointing and telling each other 'look at that!'. A bit later I found an album that held 45's in it many years ago! I saw one in the Wedding book thingy by Somerset awhile back that had been altered/collaged and loved it! Can't wait to play with this one!
Next, Angelica took me to a booth that she has visited before. This booth has tons of pictures, mostly vintage, and emphemera, tons of it. I could have spent a fortune! I could have also spent days looking through all of it! Oh, and there were more buttons in this booth than at a button factory! I think we spent 45 minutes or so at just this one booth. It is probably a good thing we had only a limited amount of time to spend there since we both had other obligations, other wise we would still be there. I picked up a few large buttons, a picture at this booth. I wish I could have just taken it all home! Angelica picked up some goodies here as well. Some were mystery packs of photos, you could only see the first and last, the one's in the middle were to be a surpise.
The drive home was great, it is a beautiful fall day, perfect blue sky, big huge floofy clouds, Elton John on the radio singing Crocodile Rock and the bird cage on the seat next to me.
I had a great time, and can't wait to get together again Angelica! Thanks!
Monday, October 24, 2005
oh, and p.s. I made a tag tryptich today! I will put it on my blog when it is jazzed up abit!!!!!
What a wonderful think to do! It made me go hmmmmmmm........
I needed to think of 5 women who have inspired me........ I wrote down very quickly this morning without giving it any real thought, I just wrote down what came to me instantly. I am sure in a few days I will have some names to add.....
- Grandma Pauline - Boy was she a character, not your Nestle-toll-house- cookie-bakin'-grandma-type. Grandma was 6'3", meaty, smokin', drinkin', cussin', man lovin' woman with some serious life issues, but she loved me for me, and she loved her gardens, I remember her 4 o'clocks and iris' the most. She is the reason I began gardening and continue to do so to this day! She also didn't take #$@* from NOBODY!!!! She was who she was and if you didn't like it, well that was your problem.
- Cinderella - sounds a little goofy, she hung in there in the beginning when times were rough, and then she got her happily ever after.
- Donna Dewberry - I took a couple of painting classes with my mom eleventy gazillion years ago, and I loved painting, but it did not come easy for me. Because painting required so much thought and effort I retired my brushes and figured it was not meant to be. One evening about 7 years ago in a desperate attempt to escape 3 babies, 2 of which wore diapers still, a crabby husband, a messy house, and all of the other stuff that comes with being a domestic engineer I headed off to Michaels with a 40% off coupon and a few bucks. Something in the painting isle caught my eye. I did not know it at the time, but learning disabilites kept me from being able to grasp some things. My brain requires lots of step by step pictures. Donna Dewberrys book had just that. Not only that but she was published and the first thing I noticed when I picked up one of her books is that even though I liked what I saw, her work was not perfect. I noticed that the piece on the cover actually had a couple of spots that she missed painting and I could see bare wood. At that point I gave it a try, not for the pictures taking me step by step, but the fact that if they put this 'not so perfect' piece on the cover, it was ok if I was not 'perfect' in my painting. Perfection has at times hindered me in the studio.
- This one will remain nameless - she inspired me to be the opposite of her in almost every aspect of my life. I think of her when I read a piece I have come to love from the True Colors book (I will put it on here tomorrow!) It keeps me real, honest, and a few other things!
- My art sisters - (I was kinda hoping I could count this great group of women as 1 !) Some I know very well in person, many I have come to know thanks to the wonderful world of technology!!!!! Denise M, Becky, Angelica, Chris S, Sharon W, Denise L, Carol D, Michel M, Heidi, Carla, Sarah Fishburn, got to see her in action at a demo at Redlead, Maureen, Judi, and Lisa, Nina Bagley, I just love her stuff! (there are a few more, I know, but the train went off the track so to speak) I also got inspiration from my mom to a degree, I inherited the artsy gene, and she was always doing something creative when I was growing up. She painted and I was always being shooed away while she was at the sewing machine when I was little. She sewed many a dress for me, including my wedding dress, and boy did that have to require some patience.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
What a long day it has been today. I only had about 4 hours of sleep last night. Got up early to do housework so that I could play all day today. I almost broke into my adhesive drawer to find something to hold my wee wittle eyeballs open long enough to finish this piece, and it is a good thing there is a delete button on my keyboard because so far I have yet to get through a sentence without misspelling a word.
I planned to see Angelica's demo at Redlead today with one friend, Denise, and was surprised to get a call from another friend of ours that we have been trying to get to meet us at Redlead for several weeks for ATC meet up night. Our friend Denise was to meet up with us at Redlead and then back to my house for some last minute planned play time. So anyway Denise ends up not feeling well and does not make it, Maureen and I watch the demo, and shop, yeeha (!), talk with friends :), Maureen even won some embossing powder, we stopped off at the antique shop down the sidewalk from Redlead, I planned to look for old photos, and ended up finding a journal type thingy-muh-bob (did i spell that right? oh, well.....) from 1888! It was only 22 bucks, and is in much better shape than my planner that is only 2 years old! OH, I just love the handwriting from back then, everything was so ornamental, artistic, and just plain beautiful back then! So as we are leaving Denise calls and is gonna try to make it out to my house to play for a bit. This was all last minute, and we all agreed we wanted to play, just could not figure out what we wanted to do. We started off playing with the new Tim Holtz embossing powders! Love them, luv 'em! But you gotta read the directions! This is not what I would consider to be your typical embossing powder. ( i come from a long line of wait until it doesn't work right then read the @$*($*(#$&*(@#& directions gene pool!) Once we read the directions - well, cool stuff I must say! We did something else, but for the life of me I couldn't tell you what it was, brain cell in the memory area of the brain are sleepin' I think! Then we broke out the dominos again. They are great little canvases to work on! Played with my new colors of Stazon, slate gray, midnight blue, and cherry pink, I think. Love the colors, and can't wait to get the rest of them, but will have to do it a couple at a time ! In the mean time my hunny bunny brought home our bargain brand new huge bird cage he got from a garage sale and we started the process of moving birds to new cages, something that takes a bit of time, especially with the abused birdies. So we may have a rough few days while everyone gets moved and adjusts to their new homes. During all of this our neighbor, who is basically a male version of me comes over holding this bunny doll that someone (it was me, don't tell though) mysteriously left on his front porch a couple of weeks ago. It has been driving him crazy wondering who, and why this bunny was left on his porch! (that was the purpose!) We have all been giggling, because we expected to see a bomb squad over at his house, we figured he would think that someone planted a bunny bomb! It is one of those guess you had to be there and guess you gotta know him and then this would be hysterically funny kinda things, so any way tomorrow night the kids and I are gonna tie a 5' long stuffed bright yellow and orange snake around the bunny's neck. ( he has left the bunny doll on his porch on a bench) My boys are generously donating the snake for the cause. What can I say, we are a warped family, and we are easily and cheaply entertained. We ordered pizza cuz we was really hungry, and my youngest kept inflating the outdoor blowup light up scary halloween tree thing that my hubby had brought home this morning, this was being inflated in my livingroom, and it is a living room full of antiques! So we have a freaked out cat running around the house, and the puppy is not happy and thinks she needs to attack it, but thank goodness she is in the kitchen, this thing is also about 2 feet from the finch and button quail cage (button quail translates in english to ' birds with no brains', honestly rocks have more intelligence than these things!) the finches are a wee bit wigged out...... and to make a long story short, which I should have done hours ago, I worked on this. tada! ok, now i will shut up, and go to bed.........
Thursday, October 20, 2005
We were all given (well, most of us any way)
- 2 eyes
- 2 ears
- 2 arms
- 2 legs
- 2 hands
- 2 feet
- 2 nose holes....ok, that was gross, I was just on a roll with the 2's things
- 1 nose
- 1 mouth
- other assorted parts.....
It amazes me how we all basically got the same parts, but how we all wear those parts so differently.
This is the inside of the envelope thingy below. I saw this design in one of my many books in my studio library. I have used it many times, and recently, duh, discovered it holds 4 ATC's wonderfully. Well, now to insert the ATC's to get them ready to mail......then I gotta clean my studio from yesterdays play. I don't wanna clean though.......I wonder if my muse knows a cleaning fairy? Who do us moms whine to when we don't wanna clean up a mess? but i don't wanna cleeeeeeeaaaaaaannnnnn it upppppppppppp. it's not as fun as making it!
I LUV,LUV,LUV the new opaque cotton white stazon! It shows up a wee bit better live and in person, but I luv it. It is subtle. I used it on a piece of scrap inkjet transparency ( i can't throw very many things away!) that I burned the edges of with a candle. (if y'all would decide to do this be careful, it likes to catch fire!) Oh, it says ' just 4 u'. And who knows, this could be just for you!
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
okay, i have to say i am in serious need of a sizzix patch. i am addicted to this machine. i love having the control to make what i want, when i want the color, and texture i want. last week when i ran up to redlead they had a whole bunch of new sizzix. i wanted to buy about 5 of them, but i restrained myself. i then had to run back up to redlead a few days ago and the paper clip die kept calling my name. i told myself.....okay if you come up with an original idea, not the obvious one, you can buy it. well, my muse must have really panicked thinking she was not going to get a new toy so she came up with an idea within seconds and whispered it in my ear. the next several pics are what i have been working on the last day and a half. when you lift the 'door' on this one it says she always had a secret crush on the groom'.
this one is on a large tag. funny how the big pieces can look so much small than the small ones. i used the sizzix buckles on this one also. when you open the 'door' it says 'they dared to travel to places considered to be suited only for men. they broke the rules. often.' i used stazon on the metal charms to tone 'em down a wee bit.
Quote for the moment
"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."
Harriet Beecher Stowe