ok....it has been a rough couple of weeks around here.......i followed a link from a comment on my blog to this blog, i giggled to the point of tears.....thought i would borrow this from her blog and pass it on and share...... my father had a very warped sense of humor....he would have gotten a laugh outta these..........
o1. You - Off my planet.
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
5. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.
6. Allow me to introduce my selves.
7. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
8. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
9. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
10. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
11. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
12. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
13. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
14. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
15. Can I trade this job for what's behind door ..2?
16. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
17. Chaos, panic, and disorder -- my work here is done.
18. Earth is full. Go home.
19. Is it time for your medication or mine?
20. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
21. I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
By all means share with other women in stressful positions. A daywithout a laugh is a wasted day!
THIS IS HYSTERICAL!!!
Little Golden Books that Never Made It:
1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
6 comments:
These are wonderful. I think my sense of humor is similar to your fathers. Thanks for sharing.
the first 21 are my cup of tea! a little sarcasm goes a long way:-) thanks for the laugh!
omg!
a little reality goes a long way!
thanks for the grins,
d
OMG Laughed so hard these are great!!! copying and passing them on now!!! too darn funny!! thanks dear needed a good laugh!!!
Hugs Linda
HI! Thanks so much for the info. on the gel medium!! You have a great site here with incredible work!!! Keep on creating!!!! :-)
This made my day! Thanks for the laughs! Linda S.
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