so where did the time go. i can not believe i again let this much time pass between postings. i have always felt my blog was a guilty pleasure instead of a necessity. i want to change my thoughts on this. i am changing my thoughts on this.
just a few quick clips of the last couple of months:february 6th the hubby and i went for check ups...with the exception of his gall bladder he came out with flying colors! whew!
my heart murmur is no longer. my iron level is finally 1 point within the normal range. i have been severely anemic for 6 years. it was so bad that at one point the lab tech called my doctor at 2:30 in the morning at home because he figured i was in the hospital in a coma. she had him run the test 3 more times to make sure. they were amazed i was able to walk in to the office on my own. 6 years out from my dvt, and pulmonary embolism i am off the blood thinners and for the first time in 6 years i no longer have cankles, but i now have girlie ankles again and i am hoping to buy some skirts and dresses to show them off!
february 9 we got a call from the doctor that there was a problem with some of my bloodwork and i needed to come back
in to see the doctor. the next 12 hours were intense to say the least. i have gone from having bouts of hypoglycemia to being insulin resistant. i don't eat enough, no appetite.....i have not had one in ten years, it is a bizarre and possibly permanent side affect from a short period of time i was on paxil. i have been put on metformin (glucaphage) and it has been awful. what that stuff does to your stomach should be considered torture! but it is getting better. i also was finally diagnosed with p.c.o.s. (poly cystic ovary syndrome) something i tried to talk with my ob-gyn about 7ish years ago and he just told me to lose weight.
finally after being symptomatic for 12 + years and having test after test to check for thyroid disease and time after time it came back
negative, finally my blood work matches my symptoms and i have been put on armour for under active thyroid! the doctor says it takes at least 6 weeks to get into your system, and it has been about 7 or 8 and i am not feeling any different yet. she says i will feel better in ways that i did not even know all of this time i felt bad. i know how many ways i have not felt well since the birth of max thirteen years ago. no one would listen to me. they just said i was tired from having 3 little ones. duh.... my thyroid story is a very lengthy one. years of going from doctor to doctor....
i have lost almost all of the hearing in my right ear. soon i will be seeing the audiologist, get my hearing aids adjusted, purchase a fm system to help me hear during noisy situations better, and to get a pillow shaker alarm. i have slept through 3 alarms on many occasions.
the good in all of this is that i can silence the world at bedtime by rolling over and laying my good ear on the pillow. instant silence. the bad is that my ears ring so loud at times it is maddening, and can make my head feel like it is vibrating. one of our alarms has a sound machine. the last few nights i have listened to summer nights. chirping crickets, singing frogs. very relaxing. the rain forrest is a good one too. the ocean and rain just make me have to pee. there are a couple of other sounds but since i can not remember what they are they must not be that good.
february 13, friday, max, our child on overdrive, who leaps tall buildings and all of those things that make a mom a nervous wreck turned 13. not a superstitious person normally....but the hubby and i were holding our breath, hoping we would make it through this day with him in once piece. max is always doing. he is busy, busy, busy. max is now a good 2 - 3 inches, probably 3 inches taller, than i am. this has happened almost overnight. no kidding. i keep thinking he is standing on his tip toes. the other day he came to me to have me get something out of his eye. that is when it hit me how tall he was. either i was going to have to stand on a chair or he was going to have to sit down. i felt as though i was suddenly in a jack and the beanstalk story. we have found that due to past ear infections that max now has a mild hearing impairment. in 3 months he gets checked again and if the results are not any better then we discuss hearing aids.
sam has joined the track team. he started out sprinting, but now is doing shot put and discus. i will have to sneak a photo of him in track team garb.....quite the handsome guy he is, you should see this kid in his dress clothes for choir. handsome does not even describe him. i am amazed to watch all of the changes he is going through. he and i have spent alot of time talking, finally. i love it. he has alot to say and enjoy talking to him. he is a very unique individual and i love it!
steph is busy preparing for graduation. my first baby is almost out of school. it still feels so weird. i don't feel like someone who has 3 teenagers. some days i feel like one myself. she can not wait for it to be over, but is finding it is a little scary to be making some of her own decisions. after all of these years being told what to do and when to do it now it is all up to her. i see alot of myself in her and worry, but i know she will land on her feet no problem. she has got and umph about her i did not at that age, she just needs to realize it herself.
watching these changes in the kids has been so facinating. they are all becoming there own people. all three of them so different, and i love and embrace those differences in them. how lucky am i to be a part of these lives. i am holding on to the present, remembering the past and yet running toward the future anxious to see what lies ahead around the next turn.
bill and i have started dating again. one day after he came home from work and we ran here, there, and everywhere and the kids all had a few minutes with him while we were trying to take a few minutes with each other, making dinner, making sure homework is done....every time i tried to start a conversation with my husband we were interrupted, i realized the chaos had to stop. i wanted time alone with my husband. i was tired of sharing. half the time he would end up falling asleep during a conversation as we were getting ready to go to sleep. what if by the time the kids had grown and left the house we had become total strangers. we love each other deeply, but we were not getting a chance to connect to each other. we did not even realize we were not connecting with each other, we were too busy, until oprah's best life ever week. that is when i told him we needed to date again.
dating is wonderful. at first we talked about the kids, ( yikes, what if we don't have other things to talk about anymore) but by the middle of the first night out we found it was like riding a bike. you just start peddling again. it has been wonderful. we tried at first to set a date night, but found it does not always work out. now if one of us has had one of those days, we just go. we have found a wonderful coffee house. we have never quite 'got' the whole starbucks thing. been there a few times. ordered the stuff we could pronounce. we decided to get brave and try new things at this new place. so dessert and a coffee and wonderful conversation. we have gone on tuesday the last couple of times and it is open mic night. heard some wonderful singers there. a couple blew us away. one guy, maybe in his late 20's early 30's, simon cowell would have torn apart, it was awful, but bill and i stayed for his whole set. no one payed attention to him, some people walked out, we stayed and watched. the waitress asked if we really wanted to stay and listen since she is the one who got us to come to the back room in the first place. i told her that he is someones baby. if it was my son up there i would hope someone would show him compassion. it takes a lot of guts to get up and do that. i do have to say my ears were screaming for mercy by the time we left though.
we now have discovered how much we like talking to each other and doing new things together. and playing a bit of smooshy face in the driveway, ending our date just as we did 20+ years ago aint bad either!
the birds and puppies are good. our cat is now nuts. we have had her for almost 5 years. she was always a snooty thing. typical cat. for the last couple of months she has been a nut. running through the house and making some of the weirdest noises. she loves to play now and has developed a tasted for people food. the other day i noticed one pupil was smaller than the other, and we have caught it a few more times. we have decided she is possessed or has a brain tumor. i am going for possessed at this time.
well, i have typed more than what most would care to read and my butt hurts from sitting here so long. while i have been typing away my kids have all come home from school, another half day.....why don't they just combine some of these half days and make then whole ones? we have talked about their day. talked about mine. now i am off to make my special secret recipe chocolate chip cookies for the hubby to take into work tomorrow, and the cat harfed up a matted mess of a hairball all over the wires to my printer that quit working, so i guess i get to gag and clean up that mess and then try to reinstall the software for the printer. have to cross my fingers and hope it works, don't think the warranty covers death of a printer by means of harfed up hairballs.
i will be back......soon
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