i never gave it much thought back then. probably because i never found money on the ground back then.
max, my youngest, was back then, and is to this day, always finding money, and not just the round metal variety. when decided he wanted a watch that cost 19.00, the next day he found a $20 dollar bill. it does not happen as often as he/we would like, but it is not a surprise when it does. he finds money all of the time.
for many reasons i did not feel deserving for most of my life to have such an experience.
i guess it was a couple of years ago max and i were talking after he had found a nice chunk of change once again. i told him what i had been told years ago, and said to him in what i am sure was a defeated sounding voice that i wish i too was so lucky to receive such messages.
around that same time i expressed my desire to max to keep an eye out for heart shaped rocks when he and his buddies went exploring down by the creek by our house. i had recently read a fellow artist's blog and had seen the beautiful addition to her heart shaped rock collection.
before long max was coming home with heart shaped rocks.
i felt sure that the angels were guiding his steps to find these prized treasures, not for me, but for him, because he so desired it.
we also began finding heart shaped everything.
as time went on, max found rocks that were shaped like the letters l, u, and a v.
max also found several rocks that looked as though they were used a very long time ago to grind grain on. (later after some research we found these rocks to be very similar to ones used by the indians at cahokia mounds)
i made an altar using the rocks, spelling out the word luv with the rocks shaped like the l, u, and v.
during this same time i started finding pennies. every once in awhile a dime, a quarter...never nickels though.
the pennies, they have meant so much to me for some reason i don't understand.
maybe because the first time i had found one and picked it up i thought of my dad.
a superstitious guy he was. you were not suppose to pick up a penny if it was heads up, tails up....i can't ever seem to remember which one it is.
i always thought it was lucky no matter what side was facing up. you found a penny. you were wealthier than before.
2 weeks ago we went to the balloon glow at forest park
after the show was over we made the long journey back to our truck.
that journey included walking up some big hills
and down some big hills
on slippy, dew covered grass
in the middle of that journey was a huge parking lot.
i thought to myself as we walked
through that parking lot
how great it would be to find a penny.
surely, in a parking lot of this size there has to be at least one.
i thought this thought.
i wished this wish.
i had hope.
i had faith.
i knew it was not up to me, though,
but the angels.
just then something caught my eye.
underneath a van
next to the rear tire
there it was
i squealed with excitement
and pointed, showing my hubby where
the penny lay, and
told him... you are not going to believe
what i just hoped for.
with that he picked it up for me.
that was quite a feat for him
seeing as earlier that day at work
he had fallen and hurt himself
and was in a lot of pain.
most times the pennies seem to show up though when i least expect them to.
steph and i headed outside to do some much needed yard work
we also needed a break from all things etsy
after a couple of hours
we found ourselves
my vertigo was in full swing from the constant bending over and standing up straight.
we put our tools away
put the bags of debris where they belonged
and i began to sweep up our mess.
the last area i swept, the sidewalk,
to my surprise
had a hidden treasure.
as i swept that spot
over and over
a round spot
that would not budge
another penny from heaven.
i nearly burst into tears
there are days when i wonder
what my place here is
what is the point of all of this
am i and the world i live in the equivalent of an ant farm to some
huge, unseen being.
that world occasionally shaken before being place back on a shelf.
yesterday was one of those days.
having faith, it is something quite new to me.
just a few years ago i figured i would give it a try.
i am so glad i did.
it is amazing the miracles you see come to pass
and experience when you believe.
when you let go.
when you have faith.
every once in awhile though
it is easy to fall back in to old patterns of thinking
i think an angel sent me a message
a message to hang in there, it is all getting better.
i held this penny in my hand and felt a calm and peace
that could only have come from an angel
i sat this penny on the bathroom counter top as i showered
i put this penny in the pocket of my shorts, reaching in every so
often to feel that it was still there.
i showed him this penny.
i end this post waiting expectantly for future
pennies from heaven not only for me
but for you as well.
much love to you.
nighty - night