it is every day, not just today....

this afternoon my youngest son's buddy, who is newly licensed,  but not a new driver,  called to see if max could go to a track for 4wheelers with him, and he asked since it was mother's day if it was ok with me. 

i love that he asked...and i told him yes it was ok, because every day is mother's day.   not just today....

then i proceeded to say a little prayer that both the boys would come home safely and i let my baby go and be with people that make him happy and do something that makes him happy.  i let him go.

today the hubby and i sent our daughter off to run errands here, there and everywhere...every time she left i said a little prayer that she would come home safely and i let her go.

this morning my middle guy went to a church that he has been attending that his girl friend and buddies go to.  this church  is a little much for me for lack of  better words to make a long story short.  he is no longer hanging with some kids that seemed to be bringing him down.  he is happier these days.  i said a little prayer that he would make choices that are his own and i let him go.

this is the hardest part of being a mom.  letting them go to be and do their thing.  not being with them always to protect them and keep them safe. 

if it were up to me i would wrap them in bubble wrap and keep them in arms reach always.  but i can't. 

i love my babies so much.  there are no words that could express the magnitude of this love.

my daughter was so upset that we were not able to go anywhere for mother's day, or that there was not a huge pile of gifts.

i tried to explain.  she will not be able to comprehend just what i tried to explain until she is a mom.

it is every day, not just today.  mother's day, that is. 

every day is a gift. 

every hug.

every i love you.

every kiss.

every kind deed done without asking.

every day that they call me mom.


as i sit here typing about  just how blessed i am, breathing in deeply the scent of a most beautiful bouquet of tulips and irisssss,  to my left on the night stand i can still hear the boys trying to settle down and get to sleep, and the hubby snoring to my right and i think about what the next 20 years of motherhood will bring. 

but i already know that i will have to do so much more letting go as these babies of mine grow wings and fly away to make a nest of their own and i want so much to wrap them up in my arms and hold on forever, right by my side.  but i have to let them go.