i was hoping things were settling down, once again to add some entries and art this week, and it seems this will not happen.
first, before i forget i want to thank will and denise for their friendship, we have actually adopted them as family. april 22nd was my birthday, and in the midst of coping with the brutal murder of will's nephew the previous week he put a wonderful computer system together for me as a birthday gift so that i could have a computer of my very own to get my business started. i am in the process of creating some unbelievable necklaces and bracelets using vintage appliques that were denise's grandmothers, that she so sweetly shared with me.
this last week has yet been another roller coaster ride for us. i have been horribly sick with a kidney/bladder infection and the medicine and i are not compatable, but i have no choice but to take it and deal with the horrible side effects. one of the side effects is vision disturbances, and i pray that i will not experience this one in particular after the bizzare reaction i had to steroids i had to take last year that sent me to a neuro-opthomologist.
thursday we received information that my husbands sister only had a few days to live. she has been ill for several years, and for the last six months or so had been dying, but did not want any of the family notified until the end. it was not uncommon for us not to hear from her, and it was my husband who sought his sister out to check on her from time to time. they were very close as kids, and those memories my hubby always held dear to his heart no matter what had changed as they became adults. she passed away sunday morning. my hubby never got a chance to talk to her one last time, by the time we were given the news she was already too far gone to even comprehend his presence in the room. he went to see her this morning after a doctors appointment, which almost got cancelled....the dr's office called and said our doctor had a death in the family and we had to cancel.....my hubby had been out of his meds for a couple of days and this is the last thing he needed....i pleaded with the secretary to see if she could squeeze him in with another doc since all he needed was a script, so......
after working 3rd shift, after the doctors office visit which is a the hospital across the highway, he went to the other hospital, he scrubbed up, gowned and gloved up and went to walk in the room and a man lay in the bed she had occupied the previous day. no one called to let any of us know she was gone. there is no good way to find out a loved one has passed, but this was by far one of the worst ways. my hubby left the hospital, drove to his brothers home, no one was there, drove to his sisters ex-husbands home, no one there either. he came home, mentally and physically exhausted and fell asleep.
the news of her illness came from my hubby's brother, who is also very ill and is on an organ transplant list. he is a mere shadow of the man he was, broken. and i often wonder if he will live long enough to get the phone call that they have a match. he is a wonderful person with a wonderful heart that spent most of his life lost, too, and i only hope and pray that help is just 'round the corner. his wife passed away almost 4 years ago, a year after she had gastric bypass surgery. something my hubby also had, and seeing what she went through and what my hubby goes through on almost a daily basis i would hate to see anyone else go through this. this morning my brother -in-law came to give us info on the arrangements for their sister, and had found out that his wife's sister will not be able to fly in because she is having surgery, she has skin cancer and they think it may have gone to her brain.
if you sit and think about all of this too much the room begins to spin.
we are also in for a summer of doctors appointments with our 3 kids. the youngest back at the neurologist, the other 2 the neurologists office has referred to other specialists.
there are a few other things going on for us here that we have been dealing with for months that continue to be issues. someday posting in such a public place about some private things of the past will be an option i do not feel i have now.
right now i feel like our life is a beautiful, irreplaceable, precious vase that fell from a shelf and shattered, and someone scooped us up and put all the pieces back where they belong, only they have not yet been glued in place, so one wrong move, one more jolt, and the vase will crumble down again. oh, what humpty must have felt like. we sit and wait, patience is a virture they say, we wait for someone to come with the glue so we can stand solid and sure once again. i am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband and kids, and adopted family to go through this with.
i hope to return soon. with stories with happy endings and art.
thank you everyone who has left wonderful comments here, and at my email address. i have not taken the time lately to send personal notes of thanks, but soon i hope to.
